If you follow me on Facebook, you would have seen my comment there. Many of you replied. Thanks for that. You're an encouraging group. Yesterday was a big day for the Stel family.
Here's what I said:
How do you even write a status line about the anniversary of the saddest day of your life? I don't know, but my family and I appreciate your prayers today.
On December 22, 2001, my mom and dad and two sisters were driving home from Calgary. They had picked up my older sister from the airport to spend Christmas with us in Rocky. The drive from Calgary to Rocky is about two and a half hours.
About 10 miles from our house, a guy was leaving a Christmas party. He was 'under the influence' and didn't stop as he approached the highway. He t-boned our family's car from the driver's side. Emergency vehicles raced to the site and my mom was the first person taken to the hospital.
Her aorta has burst from the impact. She died at the hospital.
Where was I? I had just gotten home from my first semester at Dordt College about 24 hours earlier. Not liking to spend time on winter roads, I opted to stay home and visit friends while my sister was picked up from the airport.
My parents called from Red Deer, a city about 50 minutes from our home. They were running a bit late and would I please start supper? We had plans that night to go caroling with our church and then everyone would come to our house for snacks and hot chocolate.
The hour passed and they weren't home. I didn't worry yet as my family can get distracted and run late sometimes.
But then another 15 minutes passed, and another. I found myself sitting at the kitchen table, watching out the window for our car to drive up. Nothing.
Then I heard my first siren. And another. Over the next several minutes I saw one firetruck, two ambulances and three police cars race out of town, lights on, sirens blaring, in the direction of where my family should be coming from.
I got my Bible out and tried to read some Psalms.
I listened for our dog, Samba, to bark. I knew that if someone came onto our property that wasn't family, he would bark. I hoped, hoped, hoped I wouldn't hear him bark.
He barked.
The doorbell rang.
A man from my church, a known volunteer firefighter was at the door with his son. He told me to sit down. I sat on the step and he said that my family had been in an accident and that my sisters were okay. He then said I needed to come to the hospital.
When I got to the hospital with them, there was already a small crowd of church people. The news had spread and the carolers had arrived. My best friend was at a family Christmas party and she arrived soon thereafter with her parents.
My four family members were all in different rooms. I visited my younger sister first. She had several injuries (some of which still affect her today---but you would never know, to look at her). She was the one who told me that mom had died.
I can say that the feeling that came over me was more of a physical feeling than anything else. Your stomach hurts and feels empty. You're hot and cold. Your mind races.
I went into my older sister's room next. She told me that she had already asked the nurses if they were Christians and she knew that one of them wasn't. I was the one that told her that Mom had died. She said she knew it was bad, but hadn't thought that had happened. She thought that maybe Mom would have been paralyzed.
I then went to my dad's room. He was still pretty bloody. He had been hit pretty hard. I saw blood in his ears. He knew that mom had died. He repeated himself a couple of times. It was a hard conversation to have. My dad is supposed to be our family rock. He's supposed to be the strong one. And here he is, not really making sense. I got out of there after only a couple minutes.
I walked by my mom's room, but didn't go in. I couldn't handle it. I looked in, but then walked away.
I'm the fourth of five kids. I'm almost the youngest. I have very little seniority in decision making. I often am not the first to experience things (first job, graduating, missions trips, etc). This night changed that.
My dad was hurt really badly. My mom had died. My oldest sister was hurt and in a hospital room. My oldest brother was living in Chicago with his wife. My next oldest brother was at a gas station coffee shop in town, with his friend.
My dad needed to be transported to a larger hospital and the medical staff asked me which hospital he should go to.
I probably answered in about a second, but I remember thinking through the question and also the weirdness and uncomfortableness of being the one who had to make this decision.
He spent about 10 days in the hospital. My sisters spent about a day.
We waited until my dad was out of the hospital to have the funeral. We had it over two days as the burial site we chose was a couple of hours away.
If you knew my mom or if you were there that night, what do you remember?
